Why is my friend so ugly

Why are you friends with them then?!

I spend too much time raiding windmills

WOW! It’s just not something people normally do — let alone spending TOO much time doing it.

Greyhound don't float on water

So you’re saying it’s a bus, not a boat. Thanks!

How can I kill my baby

Put the baby on the floor of the bathroom. Fill up the bathtub with water. Plug in something like a radio that can reach the water, but don’t put it in the water yet. Get inside the tub, drop the radio (or whatever) in the water with you and THEN pick up your kid. That should take care of things.

I can has swine flue

Keep it away from me and you can has whatever you want.

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